


Reject

by Spiria



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-15
Updated: 2013-10-16
Packaged: 2017-12-29 13:48:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1006175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spiria/pseuds/Spiria
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The world has always been against them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. tintamarre (n.) an uproar

**Author's Note:**

> A series of short works for Shari's birthday.

That day, Boyd's decision leads to a literal uproar by wolves. Scott protests into the night, but it's too late. Boyd has already taken the bite, and as he sits atop the machine at the ice rink, watching the ensuing fight and his heart palpitating, he hopes for the best of himself. Of his potential to become a wolf, one of them, and not of the other possibility – that other possibility, where he falls and fades and nobody cares, because he just isn't worth it. Derek has promised that that wouldn't be the case, only if Boyd is willing to deliver on his end. And he is, because there's nobody else in his empty life. But soon, he tells himself through the distraction of observing Scott throw Isaac and Erica around – soon, his life won't be so empty anymore.  
  
He'll be part of a pack. Derek's pack. A place where he has been promised acceptance and attention, where he can be acknowledged as another breathing, living thing and have a shot at a brother and another at a sister. That's what matters to him most, because Boyd can't stand the thought of spending another day in absolute seclusion despite being surrounded by people, because he wants to feel alive again and protect those close to him as a brother should. He doesn't want to drown in the frustration and guilt and loneliness for a second longer.   
  
Derek has offered all of this to him; he's offered to put a stopper to Boyd's misery. It's everything Boyd has wanted, and he waits in labored suspense as the clock ticks and the bite on his side throbs, his eyes locked on the confrontation before him.  
  
Look at them go. Isaac lunging and Erica throwing herself at Scott. Listen to the sounds of their scuffle and shouts reverberating off the walls and ice, muffled noises that seem to make his own thoughts echo in his mind. All in a bid to buy time and protect him, Boyd, because they  _want_  him. But what really grabs Boyd's attention is the way Scott moves, the way Scott overcomes them despite being outnumbered, the way Scott embodies everything else that Boyd wants: adoration, recognition. Friends. A human life.  
  
Scott wins and argues with him about throwing away his human life, but the way Boyd sees it, surviving the bite will let him regain the humanity he's lost. People gain identity by interacting with society, and when society has shunned him for so long, Boyd is hesitant to claim that he has a face in the world anymore. Not when they deny him as a person of his own. Why, then, should he turn away the gift that would allow him to climb the human food chain and show his face to the people that don't even realize he exists, so that he can become human? So that he can be seen; and not just as the unremarkable face on the machine, plowing through the frost so that the patrons of the rink can continue to skate without casting a single glance at him; and not as the black student sitting alone at the table in the cafeteria, only to be approached when in want of a favor about the rink. It has always been about the rink or anything else that doesn't have to do with him.  
  
He remembers vividly the way all eyes had turned on Erica after her transformation. While Boyd doesn't agree with the objectification of a human being based on something as superficial as appearance, he can't reject the truth of how tempting it is to follow. Because Erica, in spite of being beaten to a pulp by Scott and writhing in agony on the ice floor, is proof of real change and success.  
  
Tonight is the night of his real change. The bite is big and grotesque and daunting, but it is also precious. After all, every ridge of the mark Derek has left behind represents a portion of Boyd's faith in the promises waiting to be fulfilled. That's what he tells himself –  _soon_  – as he steps down from the machine, hitches his shirt up to show Scott the proof, then turns toward the exit to take off with his pack.  
  
  
The next uproar, when the crowd cheers him and recognizes him even through the helmet obscuring his face, Boyd feels alive and human.


	2. kakorrhaphiophobia (n.) the fear of failure

When Erica tells him to run and leave her behind, he runs because the adrenaline makes him. But he realizes midway through the path that the adrenaline has made him do something stupid, so he dashes back. He'd be an idiot to let that precious girl die, and it becomes a mantra in his head as he pounds his feet against the uneven dirt, leaves scattering and breaking under the pressure. Somewhere along the way he curses how he's managed to come so far down without ever having turned back for Erica.  
  
No, no. He has to reach Erica. He has to reach that precious little girl, with her carefully done hair and sweet face and lively eyes. He has to sustain that precious life, because if she goes without him, then he's not going to be able to bear it. They're a pack.  
  
His fear doesn't dissipate even after he comes to a messy halt before Erica's fallen form, though a part of him is relieved to see that her eyes are wide open and her breaths are loud, and that same part of him is enraged at the hurts she's being forced to endure. Enraged at how coldly the other girl – Allison, the pretty and nice girl, who isn't being nice – looks at them like animals. Like feral beasts that should be shot down, as though they aren't living, breathing, blinking human beings. She's right to think so, but she's also wrong. A werewolf is still a human, Boyd thinks fiercely, because otherwise they would just be plain  _wolves_. And he would be the worst werewolf in the world if he lets this manslaughter happen without trying to prevent it.  
  
Mostly, he's angry at himself and his inability to protect Erica when he's shot down more than once, when the pain becomes more than he can withstand in spite of his regenerative gift. Anything could have been fine. He would be fine with grabbing Erica and taking off, so long as he can take her to safety, but it's too late to attempt that now. He'd be too slow and he's too massive to go as fast as Erica, who falters because she's so much more petite and already hurting for longer than him. He just can't do it, and there's nothing else left for him to try.  
  
He curses everything that moment. Everything about himself, not everything about everyone else, because he can't fault others for being unable to do something on his own like a big brother should. A big brother should be able to stop the crying of his little sister, should be able to make her feel safe, should be able to make her happy – should be able to stop misfortune from befalling his cute, innocent, flawed, perfect sister who doesn't deserve the horrors.  
  
But Boyd isn't the wonderful big brother he would like to be, and so he and Erica get taken from the woods, to the basement where his pack sister has to endure more horrors.


	3. alethiology (n.) the study of truth

Boyd isn't sure where thing went wrong. Why things ended up the way they did, with Isaac leaving and Erica dying and Derek suffering another falling out everywhere.  
  
Isaac, he can stomach. But Boyd doesn't understand why Erica had to leave. Why she had to suffer from day one to the end. Why a human being can't be treated as a human being no matter how much she endures and attempts to be recognized. Why someone who worked as hard as Erica, climbing that wall against her fears and medical condition, had to be treated like something not human. Like trash. Like garbage of society, when she was the furthest thing from worthless.  
  
Because even when they've finally been accepted by the ordinary society, their new society, the one comprised of wolves and werewolf hunters, repeats history by calling them weak and monstrous. It's a vicious cycle, and makes Boyd wonder why the world has to be so cruel to good-hearted people.  
  
Erica was good-hearted. Isaac is good-hearted. Derek is good-hearted.  
  
But having a good heart isn't good enough. Not when everyone takes someone at face value. Erica needed a pretty face to be accepted. Isaac needed a buff frame to be accepted. Yet the fanged features they adopted with those changes brought them the wrath and rejection of those hunters and other werewolves who think they're better, and nothing has changed. Everything and nothing have changed.  
  
It bothers him that he's sitting here like this, trapped, when he has every bit of power as his pack to have made a change, not only in himself, but in others. It bothers him that he couldn't use his power to make a difference. Because isn't that what the bite had been for? To make change. That's it. That's all it was ever about. Now the lack of change has killed Erica.  
  
Isaac, actually, has made change by going to Scott. It seems that way. But Boyd knows Derek isn't good with change, and he worries.  
  
Boyd sits there, cold and alone and fatigued, breathing heavily against the pains of what he's being put through, hands clenching and unclenching against sweaty palms, and thinks. Thinks about change. To make something different from the original. To pave a new path deviating from the norm. To create anew. To change. Far easier said than done, though now, even the word and concept sit heavy in his mind. It has been a long time since he's been this thoughtful about a single thing, when he's had Erica and Isaac and Derek to keep busy with about living for the past few months. Living that had brought him happiness – and pain, but happiness nonetheless.  
  
How can that have left him so quickly?  
  
Boyd resolves.  
  
  
He'll make change. He'll prove that he's a human being, not a thing, with the power to make a difference.  
  
  
When Derek cries, it's everything Boyd has wanted.


End file.
